Advice I’d give you, if I wasn’t afraid of hurting your feelings
There is a lot of advice and opinions when it comes to the sleep world of infants and toddlers. It can be so confusing to sift through everything you can find on the internet. What’s right for my child? Am I doing damage? Will I ever sleep again? As a first time mom, I wondered all these things and felt like I was drowning trying to sift through all of my options. These are the 5 mantras that I encourage you to cling to through those rough moments. I wish I had heard them and listened.
Your baby isn’t broken, but your expectations might be.
Kids are not robots, and if you expect every day and night to be the same, you are going to have a hard time. Take a breath and remember that sleep is not linear. Take the good days and celebrate, but do not panic over a bad day. Not every kid is going to accomplish 12 hour nights. In fact, most kids don’t. Remember that the goal is to find what works for *your* child - please don’t be discouraged if they don’t fit into the schedule you found online. Everyone has off days, and multiple off days are just telling us it is time for a shift. Disruption is data that helps you find what works best for your little one
There is no “right time” to make changes.
I’m going to hold your hand when I say this: There is no perfect time to make change. There will always be another sickness, or vacation, or regression, or teething or, or or… The most important factor is your own readiness, but even still you might not feel 100% ready. So how do you know when it is time? Trust your gut. If you are beginning to feel hyper-fixated on sleep, resentful around nap and bedtime, or just not like yourself; that’s your sign that it’s time for change.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
I genuinely wish I could offer you a magic wand and it would fix all your sleep problems. Lack of sleep is so challenging, but the truth is that change takes work and intention. If you don’t change what you’re currently doing, nothing is going to change. But remember, doing nothing is still a choice! If you are ready for some changes, three easy ones you can make right now are making sure your baby is getting an appropriate amount of sleep and time awake and setting up the optimal sleep environment.
Wanting better sleep doesn’t make you selfish…
It makes you human. Hear me clearly on this one: sleep deprivation is a form of torture. There is a reason you are feeling crazy and not like yourself when you are not rested. I am so much closer to the parent I want to be when I am rested. When I am sleep deprived, I don’t recognize myself or the parent that I am. Wanting to be the type of parent you know you can be is not selfish at all, and don’t let yourself feel guilty for that.
There is no perfect or singular “right” method.
I hear it all the time. What should I do? I totally understand wanting a quick fix, but there are so many variables that go into it, and every child is different. The right method is what feels right for your family, your baby, and your values. Most of the time, there is more than one right answer. There are so many choices in between riding it out and crying it out. Let me help you find that middle ground.
You don’t have to wait until you are desperate.
You can ask for help now. Even if sleep is “fine” and you want something more sustainable for the long term. If you want to understand your individual child and the needs that they have, there is no need to wait.
If anything of these resonate with you, I would love to connect and get you on the path towards better sleep and just a little bit more sanity. Check out this link to my services, or shoot me an email.
